Ballad of Love and Hate
by Crazy Hyper Gleek
Summary: Songfic on Remus/Sirius to The Ballad of Love and Hate by The Avett brothers. AU One-Shot Werewolves mate for life. What happens when it seems their mate has moved on? How does Remus cope with having to stay in Sirius's life without having him?


_A/N: Sorry! I know I should be working on Old Ways, but I was cleaning and listening to music and this song kept making a pest out of itself. Every time I hear this son, I think it fits perfectly as a Remus/Sirius story. AU: Sirius didn't die, Remus didn't die. Remus never got together with Tonks, hence they never had Teddy. Fred is alive, Moody is alive. Hermione is not. She died in battle weeks after giving birth to a little girl. Ron and Hermione were not married, but were together. This is SLASH people, don't like, don't read_

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize. Anything Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and _The Ballad of Love and Hate_ belongs to the Avett Brothers_

**The Ballad of Love and Hate**

_Love writes a letter and sends it to hate._

_My vacations ending. I'm coming home late._

_The weather was fine and the ocean was great _

_and I can't wait to see you again. _

Remus Lupin smiled as he stepped onto the ship that was to take him home. The trip had been a present from Harry, who had said he needed some R&R. Which was completely true. Time had not been kind to Remus, who had recently faced one to many horrific transformations for his body to take. The stress of rounding up the last of the Death Eaters, fighting for werewolf rights, and acting as Harry's guardian had push Remus to the limit and had allowed Moony to break free of the wolfsbane. Thankfully they had been able to lock him in a spare room at Grimuald Place before he could harm anyone. Moony however, was not happy about being locked in the small room. This added to the fact that Remus's ex-lover had been stationed outside the door all night in animungus form had put Moony into a frenzy. He had ripped himself to shreds, something he hadn't done in many years.

After a week at Saint Mungo's, Harry had informed him that he was sending Remus somewhere tropical and quiet for two weeks, completely paid for. Remus had attempted to protest, but Harry had just waved his attempts today. So Remus had spent a relaxing two weeks recovering and then some.

But, despite the wonderful sun and the gorgeous ocean side hotel, he found himself missing his friends. He missed Harry, who was like a son to him. He worried about the boy. It had only been four months since the down fall of Lord Voldemort and Harry still had nightmares. He needed someone to be there for him. Though he was 17 years old, Harry was still a child deep down inside. Despite all he had been through, he still needed someone to hold him after a nightmare and tell him everything would be okay.

Remus also missed Tonks, who had become a good friend to him during the war. After a short bout of confusion over feelings, the two found that they got on quiet well. Remus found her enthusiasm for life endearing and her sisterly love for young Harry only put her higher in his eyes.

There were also the Weasley twins, battered and bruised from the war, but otherwise still their normal happy go lucky selves. He could practically hear Alistor Moody's screams of 'Constant Vigilance!' even now that the war was over. Fleur Weasley, nee Delacour had only to smile at her scared husband to light up a room. The love evident between the two of them was enough to give hope to anyone. Ron Weasley, struggling to stay strong for Harry and his baby girl despite the loss of the love of his life so soon after the birth of their unexpected family.

And then there is him. Perfect, beautiful and finally free. Sirius Black, former lover of Remus Lupin, mate of said werewolf, and godfather of Remus's charge, was taking advantage of his freedom. Sirius was living the life of a bachelor, ignoring the pain he was putting Remus through. Remus shook his head. It didn't matter that Sirius didn't want him anymore. He would always be there for the man in whatever role he wanted Remus to play. Which is why he continued to owl Sirius, despite receiving no return post.

_Hate reads the letter and throws it away._

_"No one here cares if you go or you stay._

_I barely even noticed that you were away._

_I'll see you or I won't, whatever."_

Sirius knew what he was doing was wrong. But as he took another pull of Ogden's Finest, he couldn't find it in himself to care. He wanted to live the life he had been denied for so long. He wanted to be young, to go out drinking every night with friends. He wanted to bring a different bird or bloke home every night. He didn't want to be tied down. And no one blamed him. That was perhaps the worst part.

Sirius reads over the most recent letter from Remus, his mate, as he was snuggled up with some bint whose name would for some reason not cooperate and come to his tongue. Remus had warned him that werewolf's mated for life years ago, when they had first started dating. They had been young and done foolish things. They had been so sure they were meant for each other. Remus explained that once a werewolf had been with one partner, they could never be with another. They were attached to the other for life. The mated one, however, did not have such restrictions. If they did not wish to be with their werewolf anymore, they would easily move on. The werewolf would be anything their mate needed. Not all mates were together. Some were simply best friends. Some were family insistent on keeping another safe. The bond itself was not of a sexual nature. It was protection and love. However, once the bond had been formed, there was no going back for the werewolf. Their world revolved around that person and they would do whatever it took to make them happy.

Sirius slipped out of the bed, careful not to jostle the girl. He padded over to the desk in the corner and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. Scribbling a quick missive to his mate, Sirius poured what he was feeling into the letter. A quick check to make sure the girl hadn't woken up was all Sirius took before heading to find his owl. Without giving it a second glance, Sirius cast a quick _Incindo_ on the letter from Remus. That part of his life was over.

_Love sings a song as she sails through the sky._

_The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes._

_And everyone knows it whenever she flies,_

_and also when she comes down._

Remus heart broke when he received Sirius's owl, though he knew he should have been expecting it. He wrapped his arms around his waist, humming a tune softly under his breath. He leaned against the railing and glanced into the blue, blue ocean, despair filling his very being.

Remus John Lupin was not a complex man. He did not have great ambitions and dreams. He had always tried to keep things simple. He was a simple man. It was easy to read him. All it took was one look at him around those he loved to see how happy, how euphoric he was. But the second Sirius stumbled through the door with some stupid bimbo, the light in his eyes disappears. You did not need to know Remus very well at all to see that his heart was splitting right in half.

Remus wore his heart on his sleeve. Everyone could see his happiness, but they also had to watch him fall. Remus was done for.

_Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street._

_Every stranger and drifter he greets._

_And shakes hands with every loner he meets_

_with a serious look on his face._

Sirius strolled through the Leaky Cauldron, deciding that on that night that he didn't want to be recognized for his fame and status as an ex-con. He nodded his head at everyone he passed, hunching in on himself. Those he finds to be like himself, alone and melancholy, he shook hands with. He hoped that he brought some light into someone's day seeing as there was none in his own. It was days like this that he really missed Remus… But Sirius shook his head, bringing himself out of his revere. That part of his life is over now.

_Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow._

_Carrying with her the good things we know._

_A reason to live and a reason to grow._

_To trust. To hope. To care._

Remus walked off the boat only to be rushed by an over enthusiastic Harry. Dropping his suit case and letting off an 'Opf', Remus returned the hug tenfold. Harry smiled up at the werewolf and Remus finds himself amazed. How was it that Harry could make you feel so good, even after everything they had all been through. The war, the searching. The killing. And yet Harry gave people a reason to live. He made people feel like they were better people because they knew him. He made people feel like they had a reason to trust, to hope, to care. Remus was amazed at this young boy. Little did he know that similar thoughts were passing through Harry's head

_Hate sits alone on the hood of his car._

_Without much regard to the moon or the stars. _

_Lazily killing the last of a jar _

_of the strongest stuff you can drink._

The firewhiskey burned its way down Sirius's throat. Normally Sirius's wouldn't risk damaging his baby by drinking before riding her, but tonight was special. Tonight was the night _he_ came back. Tonight was the night Sirius's self-control and determination was put to the test. And there was no way Sirius was going into this sober.

_Love takes a taxi, a young man drives._

_As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes._

_But tears follow after, at the end of the ride, _

_cause he might never see her again._

Remus stepped into the taxi, insisting to the others that he needed time. He needed time to adjust to being back in Britain, to being near… well, that part he didn't mention. But he didn't need to. The frown lines gave him away. Sighing, Remus placed a heavy head against the window as the cabbie attempts to flirt.

The young man was certainly handsome, and seemed to be a nice enough fellow. Remus saw no need to not flirt back, though less crassly than the cabbie. He would likely never see this man again, so there was no harm done. Remus quickly had to back pedal when the man asked for Remus's phone number. The other young man was near tears as Remus explained that he already had a partner and really wasn't likely to change that anytime soon. What he didn't mention, however, was that said partner had no desire to be near him. As Remus thought about his lost happiness, he felt near tears as well.

_Hate gets home lucky to still be alive._

_He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive._

_The clock in the kitchen says 2:55, _

_And the clock in the kitchen is slow._

Sirius rode his bike up the street and gave the beast one final sharp turn before jumping the curb and heading towards the newly built garage. In an instant, he knows it was a bad idea to have two whole bottles of firewhiskey. He loses control of the bike, and seconds later has control again, just managing to avoid hitting the house. Deciding against attempting to park the thing in the garage, he turns it off right there in the middle of the lawn, locking it and casting several sloppy wards around it.

Sirius stumbled into the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the stove, 2:55. Sirius curses, realizing how slow that clock is. He casts a _Tempus_, which declares the time to be 3:37. And curse him if he couldn't smell Moony everywhere. He follows the scent until he is standing outside the library.

_Love has been waiting, patient and kind._

_Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,_

_That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind,_

_Will make it back safe to her arms._

Remus can't help it. He worries about Sirius. He worries about him 24/7, 365 days a year. So it is to no one's surprise when he stays up long after everyone else has headed to bed. He knows that Sirius will not seek him out, but he must know that the other man is safe.

Remus knows the moment Sirius walks in the door. He hears him shuffle into the kitchen, and then the quiet mutterings as he realizes the time. He hears Sirius making his way up the stairs, heading for the comfort of his bed. Remus hears all of this, he expects all of this. What he doesn't expect is to hear Sirius step off the landing and head towards the library. He doesn't expect Sirius to stand outside the door, head leaning against the offending object. He doesn't expect Sirius to open the door.

_Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door._

_Weary head hung, eyes to the floor._

_He says "Love, I'm sorry", and she says, "What for?_

_I'm your's and that's it, Whatever._

_I should not have been gone for so long._

_I'm your's and that's it, forever."_

Sirius stumbled into the room, obviously drunk. Without thinking twice, Remus casts a sobering charm on the man, who shoots him a grateful look. Catching himself, she shifts his eyes down to his feet, which seem infinitely more interesting that Remus.

"Remus, love, I am so sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking." Sirius whispers. A smile tugs at Remus's lips and he stands up and approaches the other man. He lifts Sirius's face, causing the man to look him in the eye.

"What for?" Remus whispered back "I'm your's and that's it, forever."

"I've missed you so much." Sirius sobbed as he touched his forehead to the shorter mans.

"I shouldn't have left for so long." Remus jokes weakly as he stares into Sirius's eyes. Their lips meet and everything is right again. This would never been perfect, and they would certainly have their share of fights, but their separation had taught them that they belonged to each other and that that was all that mattered.

_You're mine and that's it, forever._

_A/N: Sorry! I know I should be working on Old Ways, but I was cleaning and listening to music and this song kept making a pest out of itself. Every time I hear this son, I think it fits perfectly as a Remus/Sirius story. AU: Sirius didn't die, Remus didn't die. Remus never got together with Tonks, hence they never had Teddy. Fred is alive, Moody is alive. Hermione is not. She died in battle weeks after giving birth to a little girl. Ron and Hermione were not married, but were together. This is SLASH people, don't like, don't read._


End file.
